Let’s be real:
Being a teen today isn’t easy. Between social pressure, academic expectations, mental health struggles, and the constant buzz of digital life, it’s no wonder emotions can feel overwhelming. But here’s the good news—emotions don’t have to control you. With the right tools, you can learn to manage your feelings instead of letting them manage you.
Whether you're feeling angry, anxious, sad, or just stuck, these emotional regulation techniques can help you take back control.
1. Name the Emotion
You can't change what you don’t understand. Start by naming what you're feeling. It might sound simple, but it’s powerful.
Ask yourself: “Am I feeling sad, angry, anxious, embarrassed, or frustrated?”
Naming your emotion helps your brain move from the reactive part (amygdala) to the thinking part (prefrontal cortex), which calms you down.
2. Box Breathing
This technique is used by Special Forces—and it works. It's a simple way to slow your heart rate and relax your mind.
How to do it:
- Inhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 second
- Repeat for 4 cycles.
Try it before a big test, during an argument, or when anxiety kicks in.
3. Journaling
Sometimes your brain feels full—like it’s carrying too much at once. Journaling is a way to unpack those thoughts.
Try this:
- Write down what happened
- How you felt
- What you needed
- What you can do differently next time
Even five minutes a day can make a difference.
4. The "STOP" Technique
An easy tool you can use in the moment:
- Stop what you’re doing
- Take a breath
- Observe your thoughts, feelings, and body
- Proceed with intention
Instead of reacting on impulse, you’re responding with awareness.
5. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
This is a great tool for teens who hold tension in their bodies—especially when stressed or anxious.
Step-by-step:
Start from your toes and work your way up. Tense each muscle group for 5 seconds, then release.
This helps the body learn what “relaxed” actually feels like.
6. Mindfulness & Grounding
Mindfulness means focusing on right now—not the past, not the future.
Try this 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
It brings your attention to the present, which helps interrupt panic, racing thoughts, or dissociation.
7. Reframing Negative Thoughts
You are not your thoughts. But your thoughts can shape your feelings.
Instead of:
“I’m a failure.”
Try:
“I had a tough moment, but I’m learning from it.”
This is called cognitive restructuring, and it's a tool therapists use to help people challenge the lies their brain tells them.
8. Physical Movement
Emotions are energy. And sometimes, the best way to regulate them is to move your body.
- Go for a walk
- Stretch
- Dance
- Lift weights
- Hit a punching bag
- Do yoga
Motion helps emotion move through you, instead of getting stuck.
9. Have a Safe Space or Safe Person
You don’t have to deal with everything alone. Find one person you trust—someone who listens, not lectures. Sometimes just talking things out helps you feel lighter.
10. Create a Coping Toolbox
This can be a literal box or a list on your phone. Fill it with things that help you calm down:
- Music playlist
- Coloring book
- Favorite quotes
- Fidget tools
- Photos
- Reminders of your strengths
- A journal
- Snacks or scents that comfort you
Final Thoughts:
Emotional regulation is not about ignoring or hiding your emotions. It’s about understanding them, accepting them, and managing them in a healthy way.
It’s a skill—and just like lifting weights or learning a sport, it gets easier with practice.
You’re not weak for having emotions. You’re strong for learning how to handle them.
Need help learning these tools?
This is exactly the kind of work I do with people. If you (or someone you know) needs support in learning emotional control, confidence, and clarity, reach out. You don’t have to navigate it alone.
Shane Burge
shane@beyondstrengthgym.com